


Sometimes Life Gets Fucked Up

by HyphyManatee



Series: Sometimes Life Gets Fucked Up [1]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Daryl Dixon/Reader - Freeform, Drug Abuse, Inspired by The Walking Dead, NSFW, Rape, Trigger Warnings, daryl dixon - Freeform, rosita espinosa - Freeform, the walking dead - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-07 18:52:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16859470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HyphyManatee/pseuds/HyphyManatee
Summary: **TRIGGER WARNING**: This fic is extremely dark and there is a lot that went into this. Please read the warnings and feel free to ask me anything you'd like to know about this series!I came up with this idea from Lil Peep’s song “U Said”. This was originally a one-shot but I got so much positive feedback for it as well as requests for more parts to it so I decided why not! I got a request asking for a backstory behind the reader and Rosita’s relationship. Part one you could either read first or last since it was the original one I wrote. So far, the other parts are previous stories leading up to part one. Enjoy!!Summary: Your boyfriend, Daryl Dixon, saves you after you tried to take your own life. Your relationship with Rosita has never been good since the day you met her since you have both been after the same guy.Warnings: Violence, gore, blood, death, fluff, drama, drug abuse, suicide attempt, murder, rape, language, heroin, painkillers, alcohol, death, addiction, smut





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Angst, drugs, alcohol, overdose, attempted suicide, language
> 
> Word Count: 1,843

It’s been a week since your brother was killed. The image of his brains being bashed into the ground by Lucille kept playing over and over in your head. You still couldn’t believe he was gone. You are the only one left of your family. 

You have been in bed all week. You refuse to get up and do anything. Depression has taken over your body and you just don’t know what to do anymore. You have been drunk 24/7 trying to drown the sorrow, but to no avail. You knew what would help, but where on Earth were you going to find heroin during the apocalypse. Besides, you’ve been clean since the beginning and you made a promise to both your brother and Daryl that you would never touch the stuff again.

Daryl refused to leave you. Even though you have barely talked to him all week. He spent time cleaning the house, making you food, and overall just taking care of you. 

He laid beside you and rubbed your back as you stared blankly at the wall. You loved this man so much, you didn’t deserve him. You felt horrible that you couldn’t treat him the way he deserved.

Daryl leaned over and kissed your temple. “I’m going to go get more food, we’re almost out.” He told you softly. You nodded your head slightly and pulled the blankets closer to you. Daryl got up off the bed and started walking towards the door. “Rosita will be here if you need anything.”

“Daryl,” you said before he left. “I love you…” You told him softly. 

He smiled at the sound of your beautiful voice that he hadn’t heard in days. “I love ya too, darlin’.”

You sat up in bed a sparked a cigarette. You leaned your forehead into the bottom of your palms. You felt like crying but you were out of tears. 

Rosita walked in to your room. The two of you never really liked each other, but everyone else was either on a run or working. 

“I’ll be in the living room if you need anything.” She said, not wanting to sit in a room that smelled like cigarettes, booze, and depression. You only showered when Daryl brought you to the shower and bathed you. You had no energy or desire to clean yourself. You had no energy or desire to do anything at all. You barely slept, you barely ate. You couldn’t blame her for not wanting to stay with you. You weren’t sure how Daryl put up with it.

You nodded slightly at her as you leaned back and took another drag of your cigarette. You knew this was your only chance. Rosita paid you no mind and Daryl would be gone for at least an hour.

You walked into your bathroom, locking the door behind you. You had remembered the bottle of oxycotton you had seen in the bathroom cabinet. Denise had giving it to Daryl after he broke his arm on a run a few months ago.

You brought your bottle of whiskey to the bathroom with you. You sat on the floor and popped the lid off the pill bottle. You poured out most of the bottle into your hand and quickly popped them all into your mouth. You swallowed hard, chasing the pills with the warm liquor.

You had considered slitting your wrists or taking a gun to your head, but that would have been more of a mess for Daryl to clean up. You wanted to go peacefully. 

You didn’t deserve him. He’d be better off without you. You only weighed him and the others down. You knew he’d be sad at first but you were sure he’d move on.

You picked up your notebook and a pen and began to write. I’m sorry, Daryl. I’ll love you forever. You felt horrible about leaving him, but you couldn’t go on anymore. You have lost too many people and you couldn’t find the point of going on any longer. Not even for love.

You taped your note to the mirror and sat back down. You closed your eyes and began to sing yourself to sleep. 

“Sometimes life gets fucked up, that’s why we get fucked up. I can still feel your touch, I still do those same drugs.”

Daryl picked up the box of food he had just taken from the pantry and began walking back towards the house. He also found a few DVD’s to watch with Y/N, hoping it would make her feel slightly better.

“Hey!” Carol said as she and Rick walked up to the house just as Daryl was. “How is she?”

“Not too good. She hasn’t left the room in days. Won’t shower unless I force her.” Daryl said as he looked down to his feet. “She talked to me a little today. So that’s a start I guess.”

Carol offered a half smile as she held out the casserole she had just made. “Made you guys some food. I can’t imagine what she’s going through.”

Rick placed a hand on Daryl’s shoulder, “You’re a good man, brother.” 

“I’m sure she’d like to see y’all. Why don’t ya come in and see if you can’t get her to smile.” Daryl said as he headed towards the steps up to the front porch. 

Daryl set the box of food on the counter and placed Carol’s casserole in the oven to keep it warm. 

“Finally!” Rosita said as she walked in to the kitchen. “Took you long enough.”

“Where’s Y/N?” Daryl asked.

“I dunno, probably still upstairs in bed.”

“Why didn’t ya stay with her?” Daryl asked concerned.

“It smells like a fucking dive bar up there. Didn’t feel like dying of a second hand smoke.” Rosita snapped back. 

Daryl rushed towards the stairs and ran up two steps at a time. He opened the door to see the curtains open for the first time in days. “Y/N?” He asked quietly as he noticed the empty bed. He walked over to the bathroom and knocked on the door. “Y/N?” He said softly as he tried to open the door. It was locked.

Banging on the door louder, he tried to get her to answer. “Y/N?! Y/N open the door!!” Daryl started to panic. He began kicking the door trying to open it.

“What’s going on?” Rick asked as him, Carol, and Rosita entered the room. Daryl said nothing as he threw himself harder against the door. The door finally swung open.

“NO!” Daryl screamed as he saw Y/N on the floor, foaming at the mouth. He saw the empty pill bottle beside her and quickly processed what she had done. He stumbled over his feet running to turn the shower on, letting the water run cold. He dove to the floor and scooped Y/N into his arms.

“Oh my God..” Carol said. “Go get Denise!” She yelled as she pushed Rosita out of the door.

Tears ran down Daryl’s face as he carried Y/N into the shower. Her unconscious body toppled over to the side. Daryl sat behind her, lifting her head back and resting it on his shoulder as the freezing water ran over them.

“Daryl!” Rick yelled as he tried to help. 

“Don’t fucking touch her!” Daryl cried. “Please don’t leave me baby.” He whispered in to Y/N’s ear. “I’m so sorry.” He quickly shoved two fingers down her throat as far as they would go.

She choked as she threw up the mass amount of pills she had recently ingested. “Yeah, there ya go. Good girl.” Daryl cried as he forced her to vomit again. “Ya can’t leave me Y/N, I need you!”

You were half asleep as you felt your entire stomach exit through your mouth. It burned as you tried to cry out.

“You can’t leave me sweet girl.” You felt the familiar embrace of muscular arms holding you close. You felt Daryl’s lips against the side of your face as you began to sob. 

“Im sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry..” You pleaded, though it just came out in a quiet mumble. It felt as if everything was in slow motion. You couldn’t get yourself to talk or move on your own, you couldn’t even open your eyes, but you could hear what was going on around you.

Daryl rarely showed any type of emotion, even around you. You had never heard him sob like this. You instantly began to regret what you had done. You tried your hardest to stay alive, for Daryl. 

“Please help her!” You heard Daryl cry as you felt a sharp pain in your leg. Your eyes popped open and you sat up and inhaled sharply. Instantly falling back against Daryl. Narcan.

You felt another set of hands on you, lifting you out of the ice cold water. You were freezing, instantly missing Daryl’s embrace. You felt the warm air on your skin a few moments later as Rick ran you over to the infirmary.

Carol turned off the shower and helped Daryl get up. He could barely stand as Carol tightened her arms around him, helping him to not fall.

“She can’t die…” Daryl sobbed into Carol’s shoulder. “I can’t lose her!” Carol held Daryl close trying to calm him down. 

“You won’t lose her Daryl, you saved her. She’s gonna need you when she wakes up from this.” Carol’s soothing voice brought Daryl out of his trance. The two of them sat for a moment as Daryl tried to catch his breath. “Come on now, I’ll walk you over there.”

Your eyes flickered open. The lights were dim, you tried to figure out where you were. You felt a hand tighten around yours. “Hey,” Daryl’s voice was raspy, but hopeful. “How ya feelin’?”

You slowly turned your head to meet his gaze. Daryl picked up the trashcan beside your bed as he saw a sudden wave of nausea take you over. You rolled to the side and started to vomit violently. 

Once you were finished, you laid on your back and rubbed your eyes. “I’m sorry, Daryl.” You began to cry, trying to hide your face. 

“Hey, hey look at me Y/N.” Daryl said as he took your face in his hands. “Don’t be sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for ya.”

“You are always there for me. You do so much for me, Daryl. I don’t deserve you.” You couldn’t help but cry as Daryl scooped you up into his arms.

“Don’t you ever say that.” He scolded as he buried his face in your hair. “I’ve never loved anyone like I love you. You’re the only one I want. Forever.”

You cried even more. He was always so sweet to you. It would crush him if you died. You felt guilty for what you had done. You were glad you were still here. 

“Please never leave me sweet girl.” He sobbed into your hair.

“I won’t. I’m so sorry baby. So, so sorry.” He hugged your tighter, scared to let you go. 

“I love you.”


	2. The Prequel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Like I always say, I DO NOT hate Rosita. I’ve actually grown to like her more and more and I have always loved the actress that plays her. I just find her character as the best to fit some of the roles I need filled in fics. If anyone wants to see some more positive Rosita stuff or even smut, I am open to requests! Because she is very attractive lol. 
> 
> Warnings: Language, angst, fluff, canon divergence, violence
> 
> Word Count: 3,954

You and Tara tried to wake Glenn up. The three of you had just taken out about fifteen walkers. Glenn was too weak. He had just kicked the flu that had killed so many people at the prison.

“Glenn! Please wake up! Please!” You yelled as you shook him. You were so scared of losing him. He was one of your best friends. He was all you had left. You had no idea where anyone else was after the governor attacked the prison. Rick, Maggie, Carl, your brother….Daryl. You were so shooken up, you needed Glenn. 

You had no idea who this Tara chick was. Glenn insisted she came with the two of you. You were skeptical, but all you really cared about was finding the others. Finding Daryl. You decided the more people you had with you, the better. 

You looked up through your tears to see a large army-type vehicle approaching. Tara stood up with her gun raised. You pulled your gun out but stayed by Glenn’s side. 

The vehicle came to a stop and three people hopped out. A muscular red headed man with a handle bar mustache, a chubby man with a mullet, and a hispanic girl wearing shorts and pig tails. 

You cocked your head to the side, allowing some of your hair to fall in your face as you studied the three humans that stood before you.

“Ya’ll okay?” The red headed man asked as he looked down at Glenn. You stood in front of him protectively. You could never be too cautious around strangers. Tara glanced at you but kept quiet, waiting for you to talk. You stayed silent, keeping your eyes on their every move. “Uhh…I’m Abraham,” the man started, “this here is Eugene and Rosita.” He nodded in the direction of his companions. 

You took a moment before lowering your gun slightly, still skeptical if you should say anything. 

“I’m Tara.” Tara decided to speak for you. “That’s Y/N and Glenn.” She nodded towards you and then towards Glenn on the ground. “Can you help us? We’re trying to find his wife and her brother and…” Tara trailed off, knowing you were also eager to find Daryl but she was unsure what your relationship with him was. 

“My friend…” You said softly. You had strong feelings for Daryl. He was the only one you could talk to. He was your favorite person to go on runs with. He was your best friend. You were too scared to tell him how you felt though, so you kept it as friends. Glenn, Maggie, and your brother were the only ones that knew your true feelings for Daryl.

“Can you help us?” Tara asked again. Her eyes were full of hope. She seemed like she genuinely wanted to help you guys. You glared up to the people from under your hair. “Their people,” she gestured towards you and Glenn, “they left in a bus. Took off that way I think.” She looked at you for confirmation. You nodded once. You looked like you just crawled out of a horror movie with your tangly hair falling into your face, your ripped clothes, and dirt covered skin. 

“Well, we are headed that way anyways. Eugene here has the cure to all this. We are headed to D.C. if ya’ll wanna join.” Abraham said.

“We’ll ride for a while. Just til we see a sign of our people.” You told them. You bent down and began to lift Glenn off the ground. 

“Here, lemme help.” Abraham offered. You were defensive at first, but decided to let him help. You wouldn’t be able to get Glenn in the back by yourself. 

Abraham laid Glenn in the back of the truck on top of some blankets. “Thanks..” You said softly as you and Tara climbed in and took your seats on either side of Glenn. Abraham, Eugene, and Rosita sat up front and Abraham started the truck. 

You watched the scenery go by, thinking about what the hell happened to the Earth. You were numb for the most part. Daryl helped you feel sane. Without him, you feared losing your mind. You tried to remain calm and focus on the little things. The trees, the random deer, the blue sky.

“That your husband?” Rosita’s voice pulled you from your thoughts.

“What?” You asked as you turned to look at her. She was leaning out of the middle window into the back of the truck. 

She nodded to the bed of the truck, “That guy, in the picture. He yours?” She asked. You looked to your side and noticed the polaroid of you and Daryl laying on the bed of the truck. It was a picture you took when you and Daryl were in the watch tower watching the sunset. He hated pictures but he let you take just one. You both looked so happy in it. Daryl stuck his tongue out and had his arm around you. You closed your eyes and smiled, leaning back into his touch. You always had fun and forgot the world when you were with him. 

“Uh…no,” you said as you picked up the picture and shoved it back in your pocket, “just my friend.” 

“He the friend you’re lookin’ for?” She asked you curiously. You nodded your head in response. “Well if he’s not married, maybe I’ll get at him when we find him.” She smiled and nudged you in the shoulder as if she wanted to reassure you that you would find him, but all you concentrate on was her wanting to get with him. Rosita was gorgeous. You weren’t sure you could compete with her. 

Rosita sat back down in the truck and you stared blankly out into the distance as you thought about Daryl with another girl. You wanted to cry at the image. You couldn’t keep your eyes open any longer. You laid down and closed your eyes, falling asleep instantly. 

You woke up to the sound of Glenn’s voice yelling for Abraham to pull over. “What’s going on?” You asked groggily. 

“He passed the bus. We gotta get off and walk back.” Glenn told you as the large truck finally came to a stop. Glenn jumped off and helped you down after. Tara jumped off with the two of you but hesitated when you and Glenn began walking back towards the way you came. The two of you would do whatever it took to find your family. You didn’t care if the others understood that or not.

“It ain’t safe!” Abraham yelled after you. “Ya ain’t gonna find ‘em man!” You and Glenn continued walk, ignoring his words.

“I’m sorry,” you heard Tara say, “I gotta help them. I owe it to them.” You could hear her running to catch up to you guys.

“Are ya’ll crazy? We’re givin’ you a free pass to get somewhere safe! Somewhere where we can cure this shit!” Abraham sounded angrier now. “Hey! I’m talkin’ to you!” He yelled at Glenn.

“Look man!” Glenn turned around and met his eyes. “I appreciate the ride and wanting to help out but we have to find our people! We aren’t leavin’ without them!” 

“That’s a dumb choice man.” Abraham said. “Ya can’t be puttin’ these ladies in danger like that.” You watched as Glenn’s eyes grew angry. He lunged forward, hitting Abraham in the face. Before you knew it, the two men were fighting on the ground.

“Hey!” You screamed, knowing Glenn was still too weak to fight. “Get off of him!” You yelled as you punched Abraham in the side of the head. 

“Don’t touch him!” Rosita yelled, pushing you to the ground. She tried to throw her fist at you but you blocked it and wrestled her onto the ground. Tara worked to the separate the two of you.

“Guys…” you heard a scared voice yell. “Hey guys!” You all eventually stopped fighting when you noticed the horde of walkers coming your way. 

Tara helped you to your feet and handed you the gun you had dropped. “Thanks.” You said as you took out your knife. You all prepared yourself to fight off the walkers. Everyone except Eugene. He seemed scared. 

After killing a few walkers you turned to him. “What are you doing?!” You asked angrily, wondering why he wasn’t helping. Just then, a walker snuck up from behind him and tackled him to the ground. He screamed out in fear. “Goddamnit.” You said to yourself as you ran over to him and but a bullet in the walkers skull. Walker blood soaked Eugene’s face and clothes. You kicked the walker off of him and offered a hand to help him up. 

You plunged your knife into one more walker, allowing it to fall to the ground. You looked around to see most of the walkers were dead, except for two that Abraham and Rosita were working on. You noticed Glenn looked dizzy and you ran to his side quickly to help him stand. 

“Why the fuck didn’t you help us?!” You snapped at Eugene, who just gave you a pitiful look.

“Don’t yell at him, bitch!” You heard Rosita say. She walked over to get into your face again. 

“And what are you gonna do about it, huh? Who doesn’t know how to fight in this world?!” Rosita wanted to lunge at you but Tara quickly stepped in. 

“Come on,” Glenn said breathlessly, “we gotta get back to the bus.” You and Tara picked up your belongings and you helped Glenn regain his balance as you once again began to walk away. 

“Wait!” Abraham yelled after you again.

“What?” Tara turned to him with an annoyed tone. 

“He’s not well. He’s just going to slow ya’ll down. Just get back in the truck. We’ll help ya find your friends. And then if you all want to come to D.C. with us, offer is still on the table.” He said reassuringly. 

“Seriously?!” Rosita questioned him but he ignored her. 

“Let me help.” He said as he reached out to help Glenn back in the truck.

“Thank you.” You told him softly. “It means a lot.”

You approached a tunnel. It was dark. God knows how many walkers would be in there.

“We can go around.” Abraham said. “It will take a little longer but it’s safer.”

“No. No time. We have to go through.” Glenn said. As much as you didn’t want to, you wanted to find everyone just as much as he did. 

You pulled out your flash light and knife. “Let’s do it.” You said. 

“Well then unfortunately, this is where we part ways.” Abraham said as he held out his hand for you all to shake. 

“Thank you. For everything.” Glenn said. 

You shook Rosita’s hand but you both held a stare filled with built up aggression towards each other. You didn’t care though. You were happy to be rid of her. She wouldn’t be anywhere near Daryl when you found him.

As the three of you walked down the tunnel, you hadn’t run in to any walkers yet which striked you as odd. Your lights began to shine on a massive wall of dead walkers built up halfway through the tunnel.

“What the fuck…” You whispered to yourself. You climbed your way to the top of the walkers just to find a massive horde on the other side. “I don’t know if we can kill them all.” You yelled down to Tara and Glenn.

They joined you at the top and looked down. “We can do it.” Glenn said.

“Glenn…” you started. “I think we need to go back and go around.”

“No. We’ve wasted too much time already. We have to find them.” Glenn said. Not two moments later he began shooting. You and Tara joined in. More walkers seemed to make their way down the tunnel.

“Fuck!” You yelled as you saw them all approaching. You tried to herd them in to one area and the three of you tried to make your way past them on the other side.

“I’m stuck!” Tara yelled. “Just go! Go!” She screamed as Glenn tried to help her out. You were trying to keep the walkers away but it was becoming too much. 

“We aren’t leaving you!” Glenn yelled at her.

“I deserve it Glenn, just go!” She screamed. You ran to try to help free her but you were distracted by the bright lights heading your way. Guns started going off and you ducked down next to Tara and Glenn, not entirely sure what was happening. 

The gunfire stopped. So did the snarling of the walkers. You allowed your eyes to adjust and saw a car driving towards you. In front of the car was people. Rosita, Abraham, Maggie, Sasha, Bob, and your brother.

You felt tears falling down your face as you realized who it was. “Danny!” You screamed as you ran to hug your brother. 

“Are you okay?!” He asked eagerly, holding your face in his hands as he checked you for bites.

“Yes, I’m okay. I’m just so happy to see you!” You said as you hugged him closer. Maggie ran to reunite with Glenn and help Tara get unstuck. You were so excited to see him. The only thing that would make this better is if Daryl was there. You wanted to find all of your people but you weren’t sure you’d be able to live without Danny and Daryl.

Danny looked down at you and smiled as he watched Daryl hop off the hood of the car. You turned around at the noise and held your hand up to block the blinding headlights. When your eyes came to, you saw Daryl walking slowly towards you.

“Oh my God…” You whispered as the tears started flowing once again. “Oh my God…Daryl!” You said as you ran and jumped into his arms, practically tackling him into the ground. He held you tightly as he tried not to cry. He hid his face in your hair and stayed silent. He didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t believe you were actually here in his arms.

You and the group had found a small grocery store to take shelter in for the night. It wasn’t hard to clear out and there was a perfect spot to start a fire. Daryl and Danny worked on the fire. You walked up and down the liquor aisle, trying to gather everyone’s favorites. You were excited to sit down and relax with your family after the past few days.

You took your seat next to Danny and rested your head on his shoulder. “Did you get out of the prison with Daryl?” You asked curiously. 

“Yeah, and Beth.” He responded. “She’s gone though.”

“What do you mean she’s gone?” Maggie asked, overhearing the conversation.

“Not like dead…she’s just…gone.” Danny said as he shrugged. “We were staying in some house and walkers got in. When we finally got out she was being taken away by some car with a cross on the back of it. We tried chasing her down but we couldn’t keep up.” He looked to the ground, so did Daryl. They both felt ashamed for not being able to help her.

“We’ll find her.” You reassured them. You took out the alcohol you had found for everyone and started handing it out. You took a shot of tequila before passing the bottle to Danny. You then broke out some red wine to share with Maggie. You bit your lip as you sipped your drink. You desperately wanted to go sit by Daryl and talk to him. Hold him. Just be in his presence.

“Just go!” Maggie urged you, a devious smile on her face. You contemplated it but before you could come to a final decision, Rosita approached him and took a seat beside him. Much closer than you had liked. 

You sat quietly but listened to their conversation closely. Daryl didn’t talk much, but he opened up a little after drinking some whiskey. 

“I’m Rosita!” She said enthusiastically. Apparently they hadn’t had time for proper introductions before. You could have sworn she was banging Abraham, but he was too drunk to notice a damn thing that was going on. He looked to be on the verge of passing out.

“Daryl.” He told her gruffly. You watched as she placed her hand on his forearm, lightly rubbing her fingers over his skin. 

“How’d you meet all of them?” She asked flirtatiously and nodded in the direction of you and your family. 

You sat and listened while they continued to make small talk and Rosita continued to push boundaries. Daryl didn’t seem to tense up or shy away though. You weren’t sure if it was his increasing buzz or if he actually liked her. You could feel the tears start to form behind your eyes and you quickly stood up to walk away, taking your bottle of red wine with you.

Danny had passed out rather quickly. He’d always been a light weight. You didn’t want to interrupt Maggie and Glenn while they were reconnecting. You walked to the other end of the small store and noticed a door that led to what looked like an office. You pulled out your knife and opened the door. There was one walker, you took it down quick and moved it to the side. There were a few candles on the desk. They were all scented. You took a moment to smell each one before lighting them with a match. It was nice to smell something lovely for once instead of the all too common scent of rotting bodies. 

You sat down on the spinning chair at the desk. You looked in the drawers and found a wine glass. The boss must have been an alcoholic. You poured a glass of red wine for yourself and swirled it around a bit before taking a sip. You sighed as you sat the glass down on the desk. Tears began to fall silently down your face as you thought about Daryl out there with Rosita. You felt worthless. Ugly. Not good enough. Since the day you met Daryl Dixon, he was all you wanted. He was your best friend and so much more. You connected with him on a different level than the others.

You heard the doorknob begin to jiggle. You jumped for a moment but quickly remember you locked it. 

“I can pick locks.” You heard Rosita’s flirty voice on the other side of the door. “We can have some privacy…” You knew she was with Daryl. They were trying to find a place to have sex. You felt your heart tear in two as you tried not to let out a loud sob. 

You hadn’t felt like this in years. Not since high school. When the boy you thought you were so in love with would stomp on your heart and there was nothing you could do about it except for cry in bed. You hadn’t focused on boys at all during college. You dated a few after college, but you didn’t find a connection with any of them. Daryl was different. You couldn’t breathe at the thought of him with another woman.

“Look Rosita. You’re gorgeous, really.” You heard Daryl say. “But I can’t do this. I’m sorry.” You paused at his sudden response. Why wouldn’t he want to have sex with her? She’s gorgeous. He hadn’t been with anyone since the beginning of the end.

“Why not?!” Rosita asked. She sounded offended by his words. “Is it cause of her?” She asked angrily.

Because of who? 

Daryl sighed. You walked toward the door quietly, trying to listen to their conversation better. “Yeah…” He said softly. 

“She isn’t worth it. She doesn’t deserve you.”

“You don’t know her!” Daryl spat. “I love her…”

“Why?! What’s so special about her?” Rosita seemed upset now. 

“She…she’s my best friend.” Daryl said softly. Your heart felt so full. You knew he was talking about you. “When the prison got attacked…I thought I lost her. I looked everywhere for her. If I didn’t find her…I don’t know how long I would have been able to go on. She’s the reason I keep fighting.”

Tears started to fall down your cheeks again. You never knew Daryl felt that way about you. 

Rosita began to cry softly. “Please don’t cry Rosita. I’m sorry. I just…it wouldn’t be right for me to lead you on when I don’t feel that way about you.”

“Screw you!” You heard Rosita yell, quickly followed by the sound of her hitting Daryl in the face. 

You listened as Rosita stormed off. You wiped your eyes and caught your breath for a few moments before opening the door slowly. Daryl turned to look at you as he rubbed his jaw. 

“Ya hear any of that?” He asked shyly. 

You nodded your head without saying a word. “Come here. Let me see.” You said as you motioned for him to walk towards you. You grabbed his hand and led him inside the office, closing the door behind you. You had him sit on the desk as you held a candle up to his face and lightly pressed on the swelling of his jaw. Daryl winced when you pressed too hard. “Sorry. I’ll kill the bitch.” You said angrily. 

“Don’t. She ain’t worth it.” He told you. “And she could be useful to the group…” Daryl said as he motioned to his jaw and chuckled. That was true, as much as you disliked it. 

You both sat silently for a moment. Unsure of what to say to each other. “I love ya, Y/N. I really do. More than anythin’.” Your eyes started to tear up again. You were so happy to hear those words. “An I understand if ya don’t feel the same way. I just-”

You quickly cut him off by pressing your lips to his. He was surprised for a moment but quickly kissed you back, bringing his hand up to cup your cheek and neck, pulling you deeper in to the kiss.

Once you pulled away, you stared into his gorgeous blue eyes for a moment and bit your lip. “I love you too, Daryl.” You managed to choke out, despite your happy sobbing. 

You and Daryl sat in the office and talked for another two hours. You finally began to feel drowsy. “Wanna go to bed?” You asked as you yawned. 

“Only if I get to hold you.” He teased as he picked you up off the desk and carried you out the door. You giggled softy.

Once you got back to where everyone had their beds set up, Daryl relit the fire. Maggie and Glenn were on watch. Maggie winked at you as she saw you lay down beside Daryl.

He wrapped his big arms around you and pulled you close to him, leaving a few soft kisses on your cheek and ear before nuzzling into your hair. You glanced over to see Rosita glaring at the two of you. You gave her a devious smile before drifting off to sleep. 

Since that night, there has always been a tension between you and Rosita. You and Daryl were closer than ever, Rosita seemed to gravitate towards Abraham, but you could tell she still had feelings for Daryl. You also all talked and “made up”, though she continued to be overly friendly with Daryl. He never paid her any mind though. You were all he cared about. You were glad to have her as part of the group, she was a great fighter. But the tension between the two of you never died down.


	3. The Prequel (Pt. 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: **TRIGGER WARNING** I am not proud of this chapter…It took a really dark turn. PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS BEFORE READING THIS. I will not be offended if you choose not to read this. Take care of YOU. If you are reading my work for the first time, I promise my other series and one shots aren’t this dark!!
> 
> Warnings: RAPE, alcohol, language, drug addiction, mention of heroin, mention of needles, violence, murder, death, gore, blood, angst, fluff
> 
> Word Count: 5,867

You walked alongside Danny in the back of the group as you made your way to a community called Terminus. You had continuously seen signs for it and hoped that the rest of your family had also seen the signs and headed in the same direction. 

“So, whats up with you and Daryl?” Danny asked as he nodded in Daryl’s direction. You blushed shyly at his question.

“Nothing!” You yelled quietly, not wanting the rest of the group to hear you.

“Bullshit nothing!” Danny Replied. “I woke up that morning in the store and the two of you were practically one person! Not to mention all the flirting ya’ll do. It’s disgusting.” Danny teased. It had always been impossible to hide things from your brother. “I know you’ve always had a thing for ‘im Y/N.”

You smiled and bit your lip. “Okay fine! That night at the store…I was jealous cause I thought he had a thing for Rosita so I stormed off. He came and found me and…and…” You couldn’t get the words to leave your lips. You had a big smile plastered on your face and Danny threw his arm around your neck and ruffled your hair.

“And what?!” He asked eagerly.

“And he told me he loves me!” You bursted out. “He said he loves me, Danny…” Danny stopped and held you in place. He smiled down at your happy and shy expression.

“You say it back?” He asked. You nodded your head and looked up at him. “Good. He’s a good man Y/N. Mom and Dad woulda liked ‘im.” He told you before hugging you tightly. 

You’d had feelings for the archer since the day you met him. Never once did you tell him until the other night at the store. Maggie and Danny could tell you were madly in love with him. They would never shut up about it so you finally caved in and told them that you liked him. A lot. It made you so happy to know that Danny approved.

“There’s just one thing…” You said softly.

“What’s that?”

“Rosita. She likes him. A lot. I’m scared she’ll take him from me. I mean…look at her…” You gestured towards Rosita who was walking dangerously close to Daryl.

You looked back up at Danny who was lost as he stared at her ass. You smacked him hard in the shoulder. “Danny!” 

“Sorry!” He said as he snapped out of his trance. “I mean yeah, she’s hot. But I don’t think Daryl would leave you for her. I mean…he already told you he loved you didn’t he? He wouldn’t leave you for some broad he just met…”

You looked up towards the rest of the group. Rosita was now beside Daryl, swinging her hips from side to side and talking to him with a flirtatious smile. You could feel anger rising up inside you as she twirled her hair at him.

“Hey. He doesn’t give a shit about her.” Danny said, bringing your eyes back to his.

“How do you know?” You asked. Jealousy and anger lingering in your voice.

“Cause, Daryl’s my boy. And as a boy, I can tell he doesn’t give a shit about Rosita. But he’s also not an asshole that’s just gonna tell ‘er to fuck off.”

“Well, I’ve always been a bitch. I’ll tell her myself.” You said through your teeth as you began to march forward. Danny quickly grabbed your arm and yanked you back to him.

“Don’t be dumb! Just chill on it for a while. Don’t do nothin’ unless something actually happens.” He advised you.

You crossed your arms and stuck out your lower lip in a small pout. You watched them walk ahead of you, wanting to pounce on Rosita and maul her like a tiger. 

You sighed and decided to take your mind off it. “So what’s with the accent you are developing?” You asked your brother with a chuckle. 

“Me?!” He asked as he looked at you with surprise. “I’ve lived here most of my life! You’re the one that went off to California and became a valley girl!” He scoffed at you.

“You never had much of an accent before!” You laughed.

Your conversation was interrupted by Abraham turning to address the group. “I think that’s it!” He yelled as he pointed to a large building off in the distance. 

When you first arrived at Terminus, everyone seemed so friendly. They offered you food, allowed you to keep your weapons. You had even found Rick, Michonne, and Carl. 

Though it seemed like a nice place, you knew something was off. It was confirmed the second that you, Maggie, Sasha, Rosita, Michonne, and Tara were snatched away from the rest of your group and shoved in to a small, dimly lit room. 

“What are we going to do?!” Maggie asked you. Your heart raced as you looked around, trying to find a way out. You all turned to look at the door as five men stepped into the room. Three of them had two guns each, raising one to each of you as the other two men stepped forward. 

“Hello ladies!” One of the men began. “Thank you so much for joining us!”

“Where are the others!” You snapped. Worry for Daryl and Danny ran through your mind.

“Whoa whoa whoa girl!” The man said as he walked towards you. “Don’t worry about them. They are just as needed as you.”

“And what are we needed for?” Rosita asked angrily as she glared at the men.

The man just smiled. “What do you want from us?!” You yelled in his face. That quickly earned you a back hand from the man. Your face stung as you turned to glare back in his direction.

He stepped back and looked at all the women. “My name is Gareth! Thank you all for joining us and helping us out with our uuhhhh…little problem.” He said as he scanned your body up and down. “As you all know, the world has ended! It is hard now a days to come by some beautiful women.” His eyes filled with bad intentions.

Gareth gripped you by the hair and slammed you down on the table in the middle of the room. “John, pick one!” He yelled to his friend, running his hand up and down your body. John grabbed Maggie and held her up against the wall. “Take the others out to the train.” Gareth commanded his men. You heard the rest of the girls crying. You swallowed your fear and sadness and tried to remain calm as you stared blankly at the wall.

The others had left the room and you and Maggie stayed pushed up against the table by the two men. You knew what was about to happen. It had happened before. Maybe not as much against your will but throughout your heroin addiction, you slept with quite a few people in exchange for the dope. Not all of them were gentle.

“Leave her alone! Just use me. Please…” You begged the men to let Maggie go. Gareth looked up at John to see what his opinion was.

“I mean…she was kinda my first choice.” John gestured towards you.

“Alright, fuck it. We can always save the others for later. Take her to the train while Tracey works on the hall they are staying in. You can have her after me.” Gareth said as he took his knife out and cut through the back of your shirt. A special hall was set up for all of the young women at Terminus. They could not get out of the hall unless escorted by one of Terminus’ men. Destined to be sex slaves for the remainder of their days.

John pulled Maggie from the room. “Noooo!” She cried out as she was yanked away by your decision.

You knew this would be your only chance to escape and you had to be smart about it.

Maggie was thrown into the train cart with the rest of her family. Glenn was quick to catch her as they both fell to the floor. Tears poured down Maggie’s face as she tried to stop hyperventilating.

“What the hell did they do to you?!” Glenn yelled angrily. 

“Nothing!…Nothing!” Maggie cried out. The entire group fell silent as Maggie sobbed, trying to find the strength to tell them about Y/N.

“Where’s Y/N?” Danny asked softly. Daryl stared at Maggie intensely as he waited for Maggie to answer the question.

“She told them to let me go…” Maggie cried, barely able to open her eyes. “She told them to just take her!” She cried out.

“Take her where, Maggie?!” Daryl yelled as he dove to his knees beside her.

“Ease up, Daryl!” Glenn screamed at him.

“Fuck you!” Daryl yelled back. Danny wrapped his arms around Daryl, holding him back to let Maggie answer. 

“They are raping her…” Maggie sobbed and turned into the Glenn’s chest.

Danny felt himself lose control as anger took over his body. He threw himself against the wall of the train door and Daryl wasn’t far behind him as they tried to break their way out. 

Everyone knew that trying to stop them would be no use. So the rest of the group looked for other ways out.

You sat still as Gareth thrusted into you. It was painful. Unwanted. You stared blankly at the wall and tried to take yourself to a different place as you waited for the man to relax enough so you could snatch his knife. 

You could feel Gareth on the edge of his orgasm and his grasp on the knife in front of you loosened. You quickly reached up and grabbed it from him, bringing your elbow back to his sternum and knocking him off of you. He fell back on the floor as he searched for his breath. 

While he was still weak, you quickly ran to him and grabbed him by the hair, yanking his head back and bringing the knife to his throat. He tried to grab your wrist and hold you back but adrenaline took you over and you pushed the knife deep into his skin and slowly yanked it across the length of his neck. 

You kept your hold on him as you watched him gasp for air. Gurgling sounds escaped from his throat as blood spilled out of him, covering your skin and clothes. It was a solid thirty seconds before his life slipped out of his grasp and he lay dead on the floor.

You took a step back and quickly pulled up your shorts. Gareth’s blood stained your skin and clothes as well as made the ends of your hair sticky and red. You stared at the fresh corpse on the floor in front of you as you tried to catch your breath. You weren’t crying but you were losing control of your breathing.

You noticed the body begin to twitch and you quickly remembered the world you now lived in. You lunged forward and brought the knife to the mans skull, pulling it out and plunging it deeper several more times. You could see fragments of his brain flying about and you stopped yourself from stabbing him again.

You fell backwards and scooted yourself away from the body, trying to pull yourself up towards the table. You leaned against it breathing heavily as the tears finally began to fall from your face.

Your head snapped to the left as the door to the room slammed open. Daryl and Danny stood in the doorway followed by a few other members of your group. They looked at your bloody figure pressed up against the end of the table before looking to the corner of the room where a lifeless body lay in a pool of blood. Blood was splattered against the walls and all you could see was red.

Everyone was silent and you let go of your grip on the knife, letting it fall to the ground before you let out a blood curdling scream and fell to your knees. 

Daryl and Danny ran to your side immediately. You fell limp into Daryl’s arms as you stared blankly at Gareth’s body.

“Y/N! Y/N! We gotta get ya out of here! We gotta go!” Danny yelled to you. You could hear him but you couldn’t respond. Your eyes were fixed on the dead body in front of you as Daryl held you tightly.

“She’s in shock!” Sasha told the men. “She can’t move or talk. Pick her up! We gotta go!”

Daryl quickly ran his arms under your knees and back and scooped you off the floor. He ran quickly with the rest of the group as they tried to find an exit. Half the group was off fighting the rest of Terminus. You knew what was going on around you, but it was like you were paralyzed. You couldn’t move or talk or help. You felt useless, like you had your whole life. All you could think about was heroin. You’d give anything to stick a needle in your vein and forget the world.

Daryl set you down against a tree. The group had finally escaped Terminus. You could see it burning to the ground in the distance. 

“Y/N? Y/N can ya hear me?” Danny asked you as he shook you gently. You were still unable to get your body to cooperate.

“What do we do?!” Daryl asked as he paced back and forth, chewing on his thumb. 

Rosita walked back up from a pond where she had filled up a water bottle. She walked up to you and threw all of the water in your face. 

You took a sharp breath in as the cold water clung to your skin. You began coughing viciously before leaning to the side and vomiting. Once you were finished, you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand before slowly turning back to Rosita.

“What the fuck?!” Maggie yelled at her as she pushed her to the side.

“Look! She’s awake!” Rosita pleaded as she motioned to you. 

You sat still as you worked on moving your fingers and toes, getting used to having control over your body once again. 

“Hey, ya okay?” Daryl asked softly as he brushed your hair out of your face and tucked it behind your ear. 

You met Daryl’s eyes as your lips parted slightly. Danny sat beside him with his hand on your shoulder. You looked up to see the rest of the group looking down at you. Suddenly, Carol came into view. Daryl and Danny turned to greet her and you took that as your chance to get up and walk away. So you did.

You continued to walk forward as the group struggled to keep up with you, calling your name a few times as they did. Danny finally reached your side but you did not turn to look at him. 

“Y/N, what’s going on?! Talk to me!” Danny pleaded with you. You remained silent. “Y/N look at me!” He yelled as he grabbed your shoulders and turned you to face him.

You stared up at him with fury in your eyes. Your lips were pressed together in a thin line. “Did he hurt ya?” He asked. You quickly pushed him back with all your strength. He almost lost his footing and fell to the ground but Daryl caught him. 

“FORGET IT!” You screamed before storming off in the direction you were originally headed.

The group looked at you in awe as your blood soaked body quickly walked off through the trees.

“Hey…just give her some time.” Rick told Daryl and Danny. The fear and concern on their face was obvious.

The group had been walking for almost two days. It was hot. You could feel yourself burning as the sun’s rays ate at your skin.

You camped in a few abandoned houses but you continued to keep to yourself. Finding yourself a secluded corner and laying there silently throughout the night. You hadn’t talked to anyone and you could hear Rick and Maggie telling people to refrain from trying to get you to talk.

Daryl brought you a can of food once in a while and placed a kiss on your forehead before walking off and joining Danny for a cigarette.

You continued to walk off to the right side of the group. The sun was shining bright but rain sprinkled down on you. It felt good. “Can I have a cigarette?” You asked Daryl softly. The first words to fall from your lips in days. 

“Yeah, course.” He told you as he grabbed his pack from his pocket and handed it to you. You stood still for a moment as Daryl lit it up for you. Your eyes met and your could feel tears instantly begin to form. 

You quickly looked away and walked back to the far side of the group. Suddenly, you heard a man yelling from somewhere in the trees. “Help!!! Help please!!!” 

Your group instantly began running in the direction of the screams. You watched as they dispersed into the trees as you stood still in the road and took another drag from your cigarette, rain beginning to pour harder now. 

The rest of your group surely had it handled so you decided to stay behind for a moment and enjoy the few seconds of alone time you had scored. You tipped your head back and closed your eyes as you let the cool water wash the dried blood from your skin.

“Y/N?” You heard a familiar voice ask you. You snapped your head back in the direction that the group ran off to. Daryl stood a few yards from you.

You took one more long drag of your cigarette before letting it fall to the ground. The rain was beginning to pour much harder now but you didn’t mind. You looked down at the water that pooled around your feet. It was turning red as Gareth’s blood was finally washed from your body. 

You looked back up at Daryl as tears fell from your eyes. You hoped he wouldn’t notice in the rain but he was too smart for that. He ran to you and caught you as you let out a loud sob and fell to the ground. He lowered himself down with you and held you tightly against his chest.

Daryl rocked you back and forth in the middle of the street as you cried loudly, finally letting out all the built up emotion from Gareth’s attack on you.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N…” Daryl cried as he buried his face in your wet hair. “I’m so fucking sorry…” He couldn’t control his tears as he thought about the pain you had so recently experienced. 

Daryl leaned his head back and stared at the sky. For the first time in his life, he prayed. He prayed to whoever may be listening. Please…please help her stay strong. I need her. We all do. I love her more than anything. I can’t lose her. Please help her… He thought.

Daryl sat with you for another ten minutes, rubbing your back and kissing your cheek as you rested against his chest. Your sobs finally began to subside and you found yourself clinging to the archer. 

You relaxed your grip on him and looked up to meet his eyes. “Thank you…” You whispered to him. The rain was beginning to lighten up and the sun was shining through the clouds, burning your skin, once again.

Daryl looked at you with sorrowful eyes. He hated himself for letting this happen to you. You hated yourself for acting so hostile towards him. He wanted to kiss you but was unsure if he should. You bit your lip in anticipation before leaning slowly into him, pressing your lips to his softly. 

“I’m sorry…” You whispered. Before either of you could speak, the moment was ruined by Danny and Rick running towards the two of you.

“Y/N!” Danny screamed as he fell to his knees beside you. Rick stayed standing as he looked around for any potential threats. “Are ya okay?” Danny asked as he grabbed your hand.”

You sniffled and leaned into Daryl’s chest. “Yeah…” You whispered. It was obvious you still weren’t okay.

“Come on, there’s a church…we can stay there for the night.” Danny told you with the signature smile you both shared. You offered a half smile and took his hand as you pulled your self up.

You locked your fingers with Daryl’s as the four of you walked towards the church. Danny and Rick took out the few walkers that stumbled your way. 

You approached the church doors and Rick swung them open, letting the rest of you in. Him and Danny worked on securing them behind you. 

“Ya wanna drink?” Daryl asked you softly. “Gabriel,” he motioned towards an African American man dressed in all black with a clergy collar, praying at the front of the church, “he’s got a few bottles of wine.”

You nodded your head softly up at Daryl. You thought back to how bad you’d been feigning for heroin over the past few days. As much as you knew it would help you, you were glad it wasn’t around. Settling for some wine, you hoped it would take the edge off. 

You sat on one of the benches at the front of the church with your bottle of wine, sipping it slowly as you got used to the bitter taste. The rest of the group was laughing and talking towards the back of the building as they enjoyed their buzz. 

Daryl sat silently beside you as you passed the bottle back and forth. You could tell he wanted to help you and know more to the story, but the silence was not uncomfortable. You leaned to the side and rested your head on his shoulder as you took another swig from the bottle. 

“Ya drinkin’?” Danny asked as he approached the two of you, giggling softly. “Thought ya hated red wine?”

“Yeah well better this than dope right?” You chuckled. Daryl’s face was a bit confused. He wasn’t fully aware of your heroin addiction. It wasn’t something you liked to share. You weren’t too concerned with drinking once in a while in this world. It wasn’t like your drug of choice was easy to come by. 

Danny sat on the other side of you and laid his arm around your neck, pulling you in for a close hug and a hair ruffle. “Knock it off asshole!” You said as you smacked him in the stomach. You always had a good relationship with your brother. Losing your parents was the worst thing you ever experienced but you knew you’d be okay as long as you had Danny. 

Danny chuckled and let go of you. You all sat silently for a moment before you decided to speak up. “I’m assuming you guys want to know what happened…”

“Not if yer not ready ta talk about it.” Daryl stated. 

“What difference would it make if I talked about it now or later?” You shrugged. “That man…Gareth. He wanted to keep all of us girls as sex slaves. Had a whole hall for them in that God awful place…One they couldn’t get out of…”

Daryl and Danny grimaced at the thought of all the women locked up in that place. The place they had just burned to the ground. 

“They had us all in there, Gareth picked me…” You took in a deep breath as you thought back to the events that took place at Terminus. 

“Y/N, it’s okay. Ya don’t have ta-” Daryl began.

“No. I need to say it out loud.” You cut him off. “He told his friend to pick one of us and he chose Maggie. I told him to let her go…that they could just take turns on me…” You brought your hand up to your eye and quickly swiped away the tears that were forming. “Not like I wasn’t used to it…” You said sadly. “I sold my body for drugs all the time. Maggie is a pure soul. She didn’t deserve that. I got them to let her go so I could take my chance to kill the bastard.” Your tone turned dark and angry now.

You could feel Daryl and Danny squirm as they were uncomfortable about what you were telling them. But they were the only one’s you could tell. 

“He ripped my clothes…raped me…I let him, knowing that I would get my chance soon enough. If I fought back, he woulda killed me.” You stared blankly at the floor of the church. The tiles formed a cross with Jesus hanging from it, bleeding from his hands as his head leaned to the left side. “When he became weak…I saw my opportunity. I grabbed the knife from his hand and…and I killed him.” You said as your voice hitched. “Slit his throat…watched him die…stabbed him in the head before he turned.”

Daryl stood from his spot and paced back and forth, clutching his long, dark hair aggressively. You fell into Danny’s grasp as he held you tight. You could feel his uneven breathing as he thought about what those people had done to you.

You stood up and looked at both of them. “Please calm down…Look, he’s dead. It’s over. Nothing can be done about it now.”

“I should have been there to protect ya!” Daryl yelled as he got closer to your face. 

Rick heard the commotion and made his way to where you were, followed by Tyreese and Glenn. Rick instantly grabbed his best friend and pulled him to the side. Tyreese and Glenn went to calm Danny down as you watched his skin grow red with anger.

“You alright?” You heard Rick ask Daryl. 

“Nah! Those fucking bastards!…” Daryl screamed and fell to the floor. Danny sat still, as he normally did when he was overwhelmed and mad. Tyreese and Glenn sat beside him as they passed some wine back and forth, trying to make small talk and calm him down. 

You could feel a panic attack creeping up your spine and you needed to get away from this situation. You grabbed your bottle of wine and ran towards the door on the right side of the Church that looked like it lead to another room. You slammed your body against it as you yanked on the handle. It opened instantly and you quickly slammed it behind you, locking it so no one could get in. 

You sunk to the floor as tears escaped from your eyes. You brought the bottle of wine to your lips and swallowed as much of the the bitter liquid your tastebuds could handle. 

You let out a loud sob as your world came crashing down on you. You spent your years in the normal world injecting a sketchy substance into your veins, sleeping with random men, staying in random houses… You kept it from everyone but Danny. Your brother was your rock. Until you met Daryl, who happened to form a close bond with your brother. He was the first man you felt true love for, but you never felt good enough for him. 

A knock on the door pulled you from your thoughts. “Fuck off!” You screamed as you took another sip of the wine.

“Y/N please let me in!” Danny cried from the other side of the door. 

“Just leave me alone! Please!” You choked out. You felt claustrophobic with everyone around you. You needed to be alone. 

Danny finally gave up and silence fell on the other side of the door. You looked around the room and saw a couch on the back wall. You sniffled and walked over to it. You plopped down on the piece of furniture as your body ached for the comfort of something soft. 

Normally, you would offer the rest of your family the soft couch. But tonight, you decided to keep it for yourself. You never took pity upon yourself but you decided to recognize the things you’ve been through and reward yourself with a good nights sleep. 

You kicked off your boots and relaxed onto the soft cushions, cradling your bottle of wine beside you. You quickly began to drift off into a deep sleep. You were disturbed by the sound of the doorknob rattling. The door quickly swung open and you snapped your neck to the side, knowing Rosita had picked the lock.

“What the fuck, Rosita!” You screamed as you sat up. The room was dark, dimly lit by a single candle. You made out Daryl’s figure as he walked through the door. The door quickly slammed behind him and you figured that was definitely Rosita’s doing. You sighed and laid back down on the couch, turning your back to Daryl.

“I know ya don’ wanna talk ‘er nothin’…” He began. “I just wanted to make sure you were safe.” He said as you heard him fall against the wall opposite of you.

You took a deep breath and craned your neck to look behind you. Daryl laid on the floor, staring blankly at the ceiling with his cross bow in one hand, gun in the other. 

You slowly turned your entire body in his direction. “Daryl…” You whispered softly. He turned to look at you, still wide awake. You scooted against the back of the couch and patted the space beside you, yearning for the archer’s body beside yours. 

Daryl stood up from his spot on the floor and slowly made his way towards you. He placed his crossbow on the floor beside the couch and tucked his gun into its holster on his belt. 

He gently lowered his body beside yours, not breaking eye contact. He wrapped his large arms around you, pulling you in close. You nuzzled your face into the crook of his neck and took a deep breath, breathing in the archer’s scent. You couldn’t help but let a few tears fall from you eyes.

“M’sorry I didn’t protect ya…” Daryl whispered into your hair. “M’so sorry…You shouldn’t have gone through what ya did.” He pulled you in closer as guilt washed over him.

“It’s not your fault, Daryl. You didn’t know, you had no way of knowing. I did what I had to to protect Maggie and get out of there…” You said as you tried to suppress the memory. 

Daryl’s eyes started watering now. He didn’t know what to do or how to make this right and it was eating him alive. He pulled you into him tighter, scared to ever let you go again. 

You felt safe, wrapped up in his embrace. After crying silently for a while, the two of you finally drifted off into a deep sleep.

The morning sun made it’s way through the small window of the church’s office, causing you and Daryl to stir uncomfortably. Daryl forgot where he was for a moment as sleep still fogged his brain, he rolled over and quickly fell off the couch, landing hard on the floor. “Fuck!” He said annoyed.

You giggled at the archer’s clumsiness and peaked over the side of the couch to see him. “Goodmornin’ handsome!” You said with a smile. Daryl groaned in response. You hopped up and jumped over him, stretching your body out as you reached up towards the ceiling. You felt rested for the first time in days. You offered a hand to help Daryl off the ground. “You okay?” You asked as he met your eyes. 

“Yeah,” he nodded as he arched his back to stretch. “Ya sleep okay?” He asked hopefully.

“Best I’ve slept in weeks!” You told him happily. He smiled at your answer, happy he was able to provide you with some sort of comfort. “C’mon,” you said, taking his hand. “We should probably go huntin’…everyone’s probably starved.” 

You and Daryl exited the office to the sight of a small fire built outside the front doors. Rick and Abraham worked on gutting and cooking a few squirrels they had managed to catch. 

“Ya’ll go huntin’?” Daryl asked as he approached the men, picking up one of the squirrels to help.

“Hey, ya okay?” Danny asked, stepping beside you. 

“Yeah. I’m fine.” You smiled up at him reassuringly. “I just wanna forget alright? Can’t change what happened in the past…” You looked back over to the men working on making food for the group. 

Danny pulled you in for a tight hug, kissing the top of your head lightly. “Alright. I’m here if ya need anything.” He said before joining the men. 

You walked over to some trees, leaning back against one and lighting up a cigarette. “I know about your past.” Rosita said as she snuck up behind you. “About your drug addiction.” 

“Yeah…what about it, Rosita?” You sighed, already annoyed with where this conversation was headed.

“Wonder how Daryl would feel about ya if he knew.” She taunted you. She was oblivious to what took place at Terminus and for that, you were even more angry.

“He’d feel the same. Stop trying to sabotage things.” You snapped at her. 

She laughed at your response. “A man like that doesn’t need to spend his time worrying about some girl that can’t take care of herself.”

Rosita had never seen you fight much. Gareth was the first person you ever killed. A burning rage began to build up deep inside of you and in that moment, you thought Rosita could be your second.

You grabbed her by the shirt and swung her down to the ground. “Listen you little bitch! You don’t even know what the fuck I just had to do! If you don’t stop running that pretty little mouth of yours, I’m gonna put a goddamn bullet between your eyes!” You screamed at her angrily.

“Puta!” She spat at you. You pulled your fist back and brought it down hard against her face. She tried to fight back but the adrenaline that coursed through your veins was too much for her.

The rest of the group heard the commotion and ran over to the two of you. Daryl pulled you off of her while you were still kicking and screaming. “Stay the fuck away from me you dumb bitch!” You yelled to her as Daryl walked off with you.

“Hey, hey, hey look at me!” He said as he put you on the ground and placed his hands on your shoulders. “What the hell was that?!” 

“She was talking shit again! She just wants to break us apart!” You said. Your voice was now sad instead of angry. 

“That’s not gonna happen Y/N!” He reassured you. “I know what Rosita wants and I don’t want her! You don’t have to worry about that. It’s you. It’s always gonna be you…” He told you softly before pressing his lips to yours. “Nothing will ever change how much I love you.”

You smiled up at him through your tears. You felt so relieved to hear him say that. “You promise?” You asked happily.

“I promise. You and me. Always.”


	4. The Prequel (Pt. 3)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: SMUT, language, alcohol, cigarettes, slight mentions of rape, fluff, panic attack/anxiety
> 
> Word Count: 3,267

Alexandria was nice. Normal. It reminded you of your old neighborhood. The people seemed friendly enough. But after being on the road for so long, and your recent incident with Gareth, you kept your distance. 

You clung to Daryl’s side most of the time. You always liked to think you were strong and independent. But right now, the thought of being away from the archer sent your anxiety skyrocketing.

You had been on the road for about two weeks after Terminus. You were so sick of walking and having to find a new house to stay in every night. Scavenging for food. You had gotten so used to the prison. Having stability. It was all ripped away from you so quickly.

When Aaron had shown up at the barn your group was taking shelter in, you were petrified. Who was this strange man? Was he going to hurt you too? You stood in the corner of the barn, Daryl and Danny in front of you, weapons raised while Rick interrogated the stranger.

It took a lot of convincing to get Rick to agree to take the group to Alexandria. It took even more convincing to get you to go. After Terminus, you were scared of ever entering a new community. But you couldn’t live this life on the road much longer. Especially with Carl and Judith. They deserved better. 

You finally agreed to go, keeping your hand on your weapon at all times. You found it hard to breathe as you pulled up to the gates of Alexandria.

You relaxed slightly when Daryl slipped his fingers through yours. “Stay close. I won’t let anyone hurt ya.” He whispered in your ear, leaving a soft kiss on your temple. The feeling of his breath on your skin gave you butterflies.

You nodded your head and took a deep breath. Once you were inside the gates, you all climbed out of the car. You and Daryl both held onto your guns tightly while holding each other in your other hands. Danny stood close behind you.

You were told you would all be meeting with Deanna, the head of Alexandria. You were all supposed to go in alone but you refused. Daryl and Danny refused to leave you alone as well. Rick briefly explained to Deanna why you would not be coming in alone and they made the exception.

After everyone had met with Deanna and got a tour of the community, you were shown to your houses. However, Rick insisted your group all stayed in the same house for the night.

You got settled on one of the couches in the corner of the living room. You sat and stared out the window for a while. Night had fallen and the stars were bright in the sky. Despite your anxiety, you had a good feeling about this place. 

You had been here at Alexandria for about three weeks now. You were opening up more to the people of the community. Helping out, talking, even befriending some of them.

Deanna set you up in a small home. Two bedrooms, two baths. You had running water and everything. You were still in shock that this place was actually real. You and Daryl took the master bedroom. Down the hall, Danny got his own bed and bath. He was stoked on it. 

You had been sleeping next to Daryl every night. You felt so safe with him. Though, you had refrained from sleeping with him yet. He didn’t force himself on you. He did everything in his power to make you feel safe and comfortable.

You woke up as the morning sun shined through the blinds. You stretched out in bed, feeling almost orgasmic. You actually got a good nights sleep for once. 

After staring at the ceiling for a few minutes, you had officially woken up and realized that Daryl was not beside you. Your first instinct was to panic, but then you remembered where you are. You are in a house. Your own house. He is probably just in the kitchen making breakfast. Or skinning breakfast on the front porch.

You crawled out of bed and walked to the closet. There were clothes stocked for you and Daryl. You picked out a black tank top and a pair of jeans. You slid on your boots and strapped your knife to your waist. You checked yourself out in the mirror before heading downstairs, happy with the clean look you had put together.

You found Danny in the kitchen, making himself an omelet while singing Justin Bieber to himself. You stood and watched for a moment as you tried not to laugh. But it was too funny and laughter burst out of you uncontrollably. 

Danny jumped and turned to face you. “The fuck, Y/N?! Don’t ya knock?!” He yelled at you as you held your gut, tears coming from your eyes.

“Didn’t realize you were a Bieber fan,” You said as you finally contained yourself. 

“You don’t know what you heard,” Danny scoffed and turned back to his cooking. “Ya hungry?” He asked.

“A little. Where’s Daryl?” You asked as you sat on a bar stool at the island.

“Went to talk to Rick about somethin’. Said he’d be back soon.”

You sighed nervously.

“He’s fine, Y/N. Don’t worry,” Danny said as he placed some eggs in front of you. “He said he wasn’t leaving Alexandria.”

You were still worried. You hated being far from the archer. “Thanks,” You said softly as you looked at your breakfast.

Halfway through your meal, the front door swung open. You turned to see Daryl and Rick entering your house. 

“Daryl!” You cried happily and ran to him, hugging him tightly. A wave of calmness washed over you.

“Hey girl,” He chuckled, hugging you back. “Ya okay?” 

You looked up at him and nodded your head, still refusing to let him go. 

After a few moments, Rick finally spoke up. “We gotta go out today. Hunt, look for supplies…”

Your heart skipped a beat as Rick continued to talk. Go out? Does he mean Daryl? You? You tried to keep calm. 

“We’ll take anyone who wants to go,” Rick stated. “Daryl’s coming, what about you two?”

“Sure, I’m in. Kind of sick bein’ stuck behind these walls,” Danny chuckled.

You stood frozen as the guys awaited your answer. 

“Ya don’t have to go,” Daryl said to you.

“I don’t want you to leave me…” You told Daryl quietly. “B-but you have to…” You knew the community needed food and supplies. The strongest people had to go. You used to be one of them, but not this time. “I’m gonna sit this one out…I’ll go next time…” 

Daryl smiled at you and pulled you in for a hug. You wrapped your arms around him tightly and breathed in his scent, trying to fight the anxiety attack approaching. 

“Ya sure you’ll be okay?” He asked you.

“I’m a big girl, Dixon.” You winked at him. “Now go! Bring me home some lobster!” You teased.

You watched the boys head out of the house and down the street towards the gates. As soon as they were out of site you ran in your house and locked all of the doors. You tried to breathe the best you could but you could feel yourself hyperventilating. 

You ran to your bedroom and swung open the closet doors. You quickly stripped out of the clothes you had just put on and threw on one of Daryl’s dirty t-shirts. The smell of him calmed you down slightly. You leaned against the wall and sunk to the ground, holding your knees to your chest, making yourself as small as possible. 

Horrible thoughts swarmed your head. What if they get hurt? What if they don’t come back? What if someone tries to break into your home and hurt you? You should have gone with them. What were you thinking?

After about twenty minutes of crying and freaking out, you were finally able to steady your breathing. Though anxiety still took over your body. You made your way to the kitchen. There was alcohol above the fridge and you needed it. You needed to relax. You were too short to reach it so you pulled the bar stool over and stood on top of it. You scanned your options and decided on some tequila. 

You found a shot glass and made your way to the living room couch. You poured yourself a shot and threw it back. Then another. And another. A few shots later, your body began to calm down and you sunk into the couch. You noticed a pack of cigarettes sitting on the coffee table. You took one and lit it up. Taking a long, deep drag and exhaling slowly. 

You took one final drag of your cigarette before putting it out. The tequila was hitting you harder now and suddenly you felt tired. Your eyelids became heavy and hard to keep open. 

You tried to stay awake but failed. Drifting off into a deep sleep on your living room couch.

Banging on the door made you jump out of your slumber. “Ahh!” You said as you pressed the heel of your hand to your temple. Your head was throbbing. The banging on the door came again and you jumped to your feet. You grabbed your knife and slowly inched toward the door.

Before you could get to the peephole, you heard a familiar voice come from the other side. “Y/N! It’s Maggie! Open up!” She demanded, banging on the door harder. 

You swung the door open and leaned against the frame. “What!” You asked as you shut your eyes, your head was killing you.

“Where have you been all day?!” She asked as she looked you up and down. Barefoot, panties, and a dirty t-shirt. You reeked of booze and cigarettes.

“I guess I dozed off…” You said as you opened your eyes and realized the sun was setting. “Are the guys back yet?” You asked hopefully.

Maggie shook her head and stormed past you into your house. She sat at the table and you made your way over to the sink to get a glass of water. You poured one for Maggie too.

“You okay?” She asked you whole-heartedly. 

“Yeah…Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little worried is all.” 

You were not fine.

“You have been sitting here drinking and sleeping all day, Y/N,” Maggie said to you. “You’re not fine!”

You glanced up at her but quickly looked away.

“It’s okay to not be okay. After what happened to you…” Maggie trailed off and your muscles tightened.

“I’m fine, Maggie.” You said dryly. “No point in talking about it, okay? It’s over.”

The two of you sat in silence for a moment. 

“I’m always here for you,” Maggie told you. 

You rolled your eyes and offered her a half smile. You loved the girl to death. “What about you? Are you okay?” You asked her.

She shrugged. “Guess I’m just worried too…” She chuckled slightly. 

“Why didn’t ya go with them?” 

“Dunno,” Maggie answered. “Most of the guys went. They all looked so excited. It was like a bachelor party.” 

You both giggled.

“I just wanted to come and make sure you were okay,” Maggie said with a sympathetic smile. “They’ll be back. Soon.” 

You smiled at her. “Thank you,” You said sincerely. “I think I’m gonna go shower and head to bed.”

“Bed? You have been asleep all day!” Maggie teased. 

“What can I say? I love to sleep,” You chuckled at her. You got up and walked her to the door. 

“I’m just two houses down if ya need me, okay?” She told you.

“Thanks, Maggie,” You smiled at her. “Get some rest.”

She gave you a hug before heading down the street back to her house. You watched and waited for her to be inside safely before shutting your door. 

You made your way up to your bathroom and turned the shower as hot as it would go. You loved this shower. It was big and it had one of those classy built-in tile benches.

You tossed your clothes to the side and stepped in. You let the water run over your body and wash away your anxiety. You had shampoo and conditioner and soap and even though the water was lukewarm, it was the most amazing thing you have felt in a long time. 

You sat down on the floor of the shower and focused on relaxing your muscles. Until a sudden noise made you jump. It came from your bedroom. You stared at the door that led to your room. It was slightly cracked and you wished you would have locked it.

“M-Maggie?” Your voice tried to call out, but it was weak and frightened. You took a deep breath. “Daryl?” You asked a little louder.

Two seconds later, Daryl busted through the door. You screamed at the sudden movement.

“Oh shit, sorry!” Daryl said before trying to leave the bathroom.

“No, wait!” You yelled after him. He paused but didn’t turn to look at you. You took a deep breath, “Come here…” You said softly.

Daryl was hesitant but slowly turned around to glance at your body before locking eyes with you. 

“You’re filthy, Dixon,” You told him. Your voice was obviously coated in nerves. “Get in…” The words came out in almost a whisper. 

Daryl slowly pulled off his vest, his shirt, his shoes…

You couldn’t help but stare at him from inside the shower. His body was beautiful. Your body was overwhelmed with a new sense of anxiety, except this time it wasn’t bad. Your muscles tensed and your hands shook slightly, but all you could think about was laying hands on the archer. 

He carefully opened the door to the shower and stepped inside, avoiding eye contact. 

Your eyes scanned his body and you could feel your mouth watering. He finally looked up to meet your gaze. “Hey…” He said softly.

You smiled, relaxing slightly. “Hey,”

Neither of you could wait any longer as your wrapped yourselves up in each other’s arms. “I’m so glad you are safe,” You cried happily in his ear. 

He pulled back for a second to look at you once again. “Were you okay today?” He asked concerned. 

You smiled and nodded your head. “Yeah, I was pretty useless. Napped all day.” You chuckled as you shrugged your shoulders. You didn’t want to admit the panic attack you had that led to a day of wallowing in your filthy coping mechanisms. 

“Guess ya ain’t tired then,” Daryl smiled down at you, rubbing his hand softly over the small of your back. 

“Not really,” You offered a sweet smile, biting your lip and staring up into his light blue eyes. 

After a few moments, you pressed your lips to his. As the water ran over you, you felt euphoric. It was like kissing in the rain. You pressed your body closer to his as you kissed him deeper.

He kissed you back with true passion and you could feel his erection growing against your stomach. 

“I missed you so much today…” You whispered against his lips as you moved his hands to your ass. 

“I missed you, too.” He confessed, digging his nails into you with strong desire. 

After a few moments of silent lusting, he finally asked you, “Are you sure?”

His voice was soft and gentle and you couldn’t help but smile. The need for him growing between your legs took over and you were finally ready to give yourself to the man you truly loved.

You nodded your head, “Yeah, I’m sure.” You said confidently. 

Daryl smiled excitedly before picking you up. You wrapped your legs around his waist and he gently but firmly slammed you against the shower wall. He began sucking and biting at your neck as the water washed over the two of you.

He reached down and ran his thumb over your soaking wet folds, sending an amazing sensation throughout your body. “Oh fuck, Daryl!” You cried right before he slipped his finger inside of you while still rubbing your clit with his thumb.

You let out a squeal of pleasure, already feeling the need to orgasm. But before you could, he pulled out of you and looked you in the eyes.

“Don’t stop,” You begged. “Please!”

He gave you a devilish smile before taking your legs and lifting them up to rest on his shoulders. He had you pinned against the wall and you were vulnerable. You fucking loved it.

He held you up with one arm and guided his large cock to your entrance with his other hand.

He met your eyes again, seeing the need in your gaze before slowly pushing himself inside you.

He moaned into your wet hair as you let out a cry of pleasure. It had been so long since you felt the electricity of sex.

He stayed deep inside you for a moment, enjoying how tight you were around him. He slowly pulled out and thrusted into you again.

He started moving faster and faster and you dug your nails into his back. You swore he was probably bleeding but he didn’t seem to care. 

“God, I fucking love you!” He growled into your ear before kissing you hard.

“I love you too, Daryl!” You screamed as you felt yourself climax. Your walls throbbing around his hard cock, leading to his own orgasm.

He slowed down as he finished inside you. You both stayed still, gripping each other tightly as you tried to steady your breathing.

The water was ice cold now but it felt so good on your skin. Daryl slipped out of you and carefully let you down. You were both still breathing heavily as you stared into each other’s eyes. 

He leaned against the shower wall with his left hand, his body hovering over you. He brought his right hand up to cup your face and you leaned into his touch as he ran his thumb over your cheekbone. 

“Yer amazin’.” He stated in a low, raspy voice.

You closed your eyes and smiled as you brought your hand up to grab his arm and turning to kiss the palm of his hand. “I know you are but what am I?” You chuckled shyly.

Daryl smiled, amused by your gentle humor. He reached over and turned the shower off. He cracked the shower door just enough to reach out and grab the towels the hung on the wall. He wrapped you tightly in one before slinging the other around his waist. 

He opened the shower door and let you step out first. He placed his hand on your back and guided you to the king-sized bed the two of you shared. He made sure you were all dried off before grabbing your shorts and tank top, helping you get dressed and ready for bed. 

He laid you down and pulled the comforter over you. He let his towel fall to the floor as he retrieved a fresh pair of boxers from his dresser drawer. 

He climbed in bed beside you and grabbed your waist, pulling you close to him. He gently combed your hair back and kissed you softly but passionately on your temple. 

“I love you so much, Y/N,” He told you softly. “I’ll never let anything happen to you. I promise.”

You snuggled closer to him, feeling safe in his arms.

“You’re everything to me.” Was the last thing you heard before drifting off into a deep sleep.


End file.
